Technically Incorrect: This wizard hack ensures you'll never be forced to write "ducking" again. Unless you really want to.
iPhones are frightfully clever.
I've never been able to work out, however, how they manage to think that the word "ducking" could be an adverb.
Yet, whenever my friends corral me into suggesting that they were "f*cking insane," my iPhone insisted that they were, in fact, "ducking insane."
The F-word has become more acceptable in certain circles, even exalted ones like HBO and the Guardian.
I'm grateful, therefore, to the Guardian's own Steven Thrasher for posting a fascinating solution to a seemingly intractable ducking problem.
"Best life hack ever," he tweeted on Thursday. "add 'fuck fucker' & 'fucked fucking' to your iPhone contacts & never mess with correcting 'duck' 'ducked' etc again."
In the interests of the greater populace, I tried his suggestion. I took the phone numbers of the two people I most dislike (I think they know who they are) and entered them with the monikers Thrasher suggested. Then I typed an iMessage.
It worked.
I know this suggestion isn't palatable to all.
I think, though, of the number of times that I've seen people trying to type and becoming frustrated at the iPhone's ducking obsession.
It makes them curse out loud, as opposed to merely in silent letters on their phones.
I am, therefore, propagating a social service.
Please remember that your new iPhone 7 is water-resistant. You are therefore free to perform this marvelous hack and then give it a ducking to celebrate.